Thursday, October 11, 2012

Life of a parent

(Written 10/2/12)I watch the show Parenthood, and this past week there was an episode that made me think about the discussion I would have with Megan regarding about life. Such as race,gay marriage/love and other discussions. I also started to think about the kind of things I said I would never do that I do now.

When I became a parent, I was so scared, as Im sure most of us were with our first child. I remember promising myself that I would do certain things, and that I would spend as much as I could with her so I would not miss a thing. I think one of the biggest things for me to teach her was to be a good person. I think I am a good person but that just me, I cant say that the man upstairs would say the same thing. What I mean is I dont steal, I would not tell horrible things to a complete stranger, I will always try to do the rights thing, i will not hurt someone to get further. I know who I am and I always believed being a good person earns more respect than a person who is mean to people. So when my daughter was born I told myself that I would teach her to be a good person. So every now and then when she has done something wrong to someone I have to correct her and have a long discussion about why we should not do that. I think she is a very sweet girl, and based on what her teacher tells me, she is friends to all:) I just want her to be a good and happy person. Isnt that what every parent strives for?

I never thought that I would worry so much, day in and day out about my daughter. Everywhere I go I have to tell her to hold my hand, to never let me go, to listen to momma. I now people may see me as a crazy over protective mother but really with all the stories about children being abducted I cannot help myself. I NEED to have her by my side. I also have a terrible time trusting people with my daughter. I mean its your child, you would not want to leave the most important person in the world with just anyone.

Some days are dedicated to going through photos of when she was just a baby. Call me crazy but I miss those times. I miss the times when her "back talk" were grunts. I miss the cute faces she used to make. She makes cute faces now but if I could just go back to see her little squishy face when she was a baby I would. I have about 5,000 photos of her as a baby, and I still feel like I didn't take enough. Oh and don't get me started on videos. Oh how I regret not taking more videos of her as a baby. I think I have a total of 2 videos of when she was a baby, what in the world was I thinking?

This little lady of mine is growing each and everyday and she is getting too smart for me. When I drive home from school, I think about the person she is going to be, or at least the person I hope she is going to be. The day she comes home to visit from college. Will she be happy at her college? Will I even be there to see her or will it just be her and her daddy? Will there be another child, or 2? Will we have a a good relationship? Will she take my advice when I tell her what I have been through with boys. Boys...The thought of  boys hurting her like some did to me makes me want to put her in an all girls school. I think my dad,her brother, her future uncle and most importantly her daddy will scare them if they ever try to hurt her.:) Beware boys!
 (Her classmates)

My baby girl is growing so fast and I feel that every time I blink another few months pass by and I am just not soaking enough of her.

1 comment :

Recently Roached said...

She's adorable.
I love that show, too.
I think your mother's worries are natural. You obviously love her lots. I'm sure with that strong of a bond with her mamma she'll do just fine :)